Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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