It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
