I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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