you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
