plz talk dirty to me
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize