At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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