I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
