sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
His hands were made for my vagina.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
