Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
