she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
