I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
