Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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