Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
