Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles

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(407): View more from Florida

I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.

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(425): View more from Washington

she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great

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(714): View more from California

20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(225): View more from Louisiana

How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?

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(646): View more from New York

Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that

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