Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
