Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
