very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
