Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
