You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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