half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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