I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
