Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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