I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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