You're a womanizer and a bitch.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
