my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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