This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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