garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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