now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
