Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize