a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
