just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
