i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
