yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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