For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
