ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
