If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
