my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
