I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
All the doctor said was why
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
