It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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