remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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