If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
