dude i'm inner monologue high
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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