How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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