I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
