It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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