He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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