Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
