omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have aggressive nipples.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
