Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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