We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
