NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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