there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
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Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
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Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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