If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
