i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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