i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
