Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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