Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize