Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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