The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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